Shoes, shoes they are my marching muse

The flip-flop of shoes falling on the floor
walking, marching through future's door

click-clack-click ladies high heels
preetiness, loveliness so do we feel
(and even, if we will, pain in polka dots and teal)

in these shoes, carry us our soles
give us the hight to know our souls

workers in heavy gumboots
snobby looks from those in suits

shoes call out your competition
slip-slop, knock-knock feet walking human

trainer pound with fresh confidence
oh puma and nike we haved loved you since

The Greatest Battle is within....

A believer awakes

Rising to greet the hand of mercy

Begs and pleas that edge through darkness

Searching for the key to his rusted heart

Tears whisper through the white dawn

Each one blowing cool the raging embers

Sins bleed from his scarred palms,  

As he weeps his conscience pure 

Then, daylight shows man’s desires

Wickedness dripping from bright lights

Temptation lures him with its clawing fingers

And his early repentance thus falls

The world dances in his dreams

Seasons of colourful allure

Entranced, he drops his honour

Believing it lasts forever

He is lost in a maze of illusion

So he tries to find his path

Oh, the world has tricked him

And left him swollen and bruised

In horror of his wrong, despair fills his whole

He thinks of the day of mourn

Of which the verses call and speak

The fires that will lick the evil soul  

The winds leave cold blisters

In place of his good deeds

He tries to run and be free

But there is always the devil’s tease

In his quest for goodness,

He wraps himself with the company of the pious

A shawl, warm and true

Tales of those who have long past

Conquers of nations and hearts

The night is heavy with secrets

That blossom into stars

Alone, he prays to his merciful Creator

His soul filled with fear,

And satiated with hope

The Selflessness of Spiderman

This past week, the TV has been showing the Spiderman 2 movie every afternoon. I've been quite surprised at how much the graphics have evolved, and how quickly the human mind gets use to further advancement in what ever way. Here, our hero Spiderman fights the battle between his own dreams and saving the world. He knows that killing the tyrannical father of his best friend will result in him losing his friend. He knows that after missing his beloved's first Broadway show, she will choose another man to stand next to her. When he comes to the realization that the world needs him more, he lets go of his pale red haired girlfriend on a spun spider web and accepts that this is his chosen life, and he will not be able to look back. And so, he conquers his desires, and steps into the boots of true heroism, which is just another phrase for complete selflessness.

The selflessness of heroes is often unspoken for. We need heroes, great men and women, to forget themselves and to save us with their awesome theatrics. We look for these people, for their words and their deeds, so we can write about them, look up to them and be inspired. What we often don't understand, is that it takes worlds of willpower to actually give ourselves to humanity, and there are only very few people who can do it. We think that heroes live only for glory, and thrive on the adoring attention of the cameras and the public. It might be so, but that is only a small remuneration for a lifetime of sacrifice. The only constant companion a hero has throughout his life, is loneliness.

Imagine if we had to give up our parents, beloveds, children and friends. Or, we waved goodbye to our artistic selves, and instead dedicated our lives to uplifting an impoverished society. I don't think I can even begin to comprehend the magnitude of it, let alone do it. It’s often noticed, that when a hero does something wrong, the media rips the poor person's soul to shreds. Remember; when there is no talk, there is no work either. We forget that heroes are people just like us. So, let’s try and make their job easier, and when Spiderman comes and visits you, give him a great big hug, and tell him you appreciate it. (Also get his autograph, a photograph and a quick ride on some web.)

What is selflessness?

In my quest for a better world and a purer self, I decided to conquer my selfishness. I saw myself trudge through the deserts of hardship, wilt in the oppressive sun, my shadow beat a tattoo on the sands. I sacrificed the very last of my water to a weeping old grandmother. When I first saw her, my old self shimmied up to me as if a mirage, saying, 'she's going to die soon anyway, don't waste your precious your water, don't throw away your young life.' My new self, brave that I thought I was, swayed, and I was about to turn when I handed my water to her. Ah, selflessness had won round one.

Not quite. I realized that it took years of letting go of tiny trifles before one could begin to attain the selflessness of the truly pious. There are people who have degrees in selflessness, you can see their stories written in their wrinkles and the steadiness in their eyes. Even though I envisioned a dramatic scene of humanness spill forth from me, these minuscule attempts are all I have to offer: 

Listening to kid sister natter on for an hour about her new wii game. 

Letting kid brother relate to me a news story that I already knew about. 

Giving wet and muddy brother a hug when he won his soccer game. 

Telling aunt her new handbag was a good buy even though I didn't like it.

Letting go of my opinions, even though it took all my willpower. 

Getting up to give dad a glass of water, when I'd just gotten into bed. 

And the biggest one, by far, is letting mom use the laptop when I don't really like it.

So, there you go. 

Is this really selflessness though? I'm not so sure. 

6 Personality traits to admire and acquire

Personality Traits to Admire

Well this morning I read the above article on Yahoo, which iterates the simple qualities that would make the world a much better place. I've decided to take on each trait at a time, and post up my successes (if I have any that is!).

The first quality, which is often to be most admired and rather difficult to acquire, is selflessness:

The author of the articles states:

Selflessness: In a world where many people don’t have the time or the interest in others, selflessness is a quality that seems to be less and less common.  People can be selfless in the time they give, the ability to listen, their level of patience and the love that they give.  Those who are giving and generous in nature have the power to make others feel loved, appreciated and special.  While those who are self-absorbed tend to do the exact opposite.


So, here goes... Bismillah 

Who couldn't wait to be independent again?

I don’t want to grow up. I fear the beyond. I know it sounds all dramatic and suicidal, but it’s true. Oh yes, my face will fall, my eyebrows will grow unmercifully shaggy, my teeth will be stained cream, and worst of all, my brain, which is not very astute at the moment, will completely lose its entire memorizing ability. It makes me shudder. I want to run very, very far away. Of course, at the moment, the pressing matter is that with age comes responsibility, and the expectations of parents. There are people’s expectations that you can deny, with a tiny tear in your heart, for instance your grandma wanting you to marry your curly headed cousin, but not fulfilling the expectations of parents will rip your heart to shreds. I’m sorry, but I cannot even try to satisfy their wishes.

Another urgent matter is that of moving out of one’s parent’s house. This is my home, I’ve spent my childhood and youth here, eating mulberries from our old tree, but I must attain that it is not my home as much as it’s my parents. My brother who is a year younger than me is boarding and I feel that is the beginning of his independence, which I greatly envy. Girls normally do not leave the house until they have married. So, my mum, who I’ve always believed to have a fresh take on matters, told me that one day, (and I can see she means soon, by the way she talks about this marriage malarkey) I too will have to marry. It made me freak out. I realized more than ever that I have to prepare for the future. It is now that I wish I had a degree, so that I could be respected to make my own decisions, to earn my own, to live and to learn.

Adulthood does not appeal. If I look at myself I cannot imagine why my parents would want to be proud of me. I’m completely useless in terms of making my parents feel good about why they sacrificed their entire lives for me. The normal daughter’s CV would be so: ‘oh my, this is my daughter, she’s an accountant, works for a major firm, she’s going to get married to my friend’s son Ahmed, she’s involved in Islamic activities and has always listened graciously to her parents’ accompanied by pats on the back and grateful smiles. The mum and the granny would usually be pleased that the girl has flowing tresses of black hair, and knows how to apply make-up. I am usually introduced so, ‘um, yeah, she’s nineteen, no she does not want to get married, she’s just at home, hmmm’ while I’m told to stop scowling. In truth, they are being kind. I would much rather be introduced so, ‘she’s crazy, likes having politically incorrect arguments, has tantrums and enjoys hoola-hooping,’ I can just imagine some of the aunties faces at this. Their lips will form an astonished ‘oh!’ and their grey eyebrows will shoot up to high heaven, I then will get fingers wagging in my face and lectures about how young they were only 12 and three quarters when they had children, a business and were doing a correspondence course in Egyptian Hieroglyphics.

The truth is that even though I’m bringing on aging because of my continuous worries, I have to trust in Allah Almighty. It’s just that, I might be a tad bit ambitious, but I don’t know what to be ambitious with. 

Lost and Confused

I'm always the one not quite there
The person who gets the weird stare
Curious questions about my crazy state
With a shake of the head, oh her poor fate

It happened when I was a little 'un
They didn't like my ideas, my thoughts that spun
Then, so far, I didn't think to run
Now, with this world, and I'm all done

Oh, it is merry confusion
Me, in my pretty delusion
World, a simpering illusion
I, always an exclusion

A sorry youth, called deliberate
My 'specialness' dribbled after its sell-by-date
Hesitation thats near hate
Just cause my normality is long late

My thoughts are full and free
I live, I dream, I see
So, this is my humble plea,
Why can't you love me, for just being me?